No.324 : White Oleander (2002)

 

White Oleander (2002) at the IMDb

When you carry out a Google search on ‘W’ films, one of the most prominent is ‘White Oleander’. For some reason I’ve always avoided it. It does have a heady IMDB rating of 7.1 and boasts a stellar cast of Michelle Pfeiffer, Robin Wright Penn and Renee Zellweger as well as Billy Connolly; but it has never appealed.

Still, needs must, so here we go. To start with a ‘white oleander’ is a poisonous plant and the film concerns a girl’s journey through a succession of care homes after her mother (Pfeiffer) is put in jail after killing her boyfriend, Connolly - maybe he left one too many wee jobbies in the toilet for her liking? - the matter isn’t fully explored.

Our old friend the non-liner narrative is employed so a lot of stuff has to be pieced together, but we soon get the idea that a broken childhood is in play and that emotions and relationships are the main focus, which will need some careful analysis. You can see why this one was well down the ‘must see’ list!

To be fair the film does  keep a decent pace and your buy in is committed to early on. Alison Lohman is excellent as our main protagonist, Astrid, and you’ll probably know her from being the young Jessica Lange in ‘Big Fish’ and from ‘W‘ favourite ‘Where the Truth Lies'. The film is told from her perspective and, initially, her world seems all askew as her mother is carted off to the clink as she is placed into a succession of foster families. The first family host loads of troubled kids and they try to teach their charges the benefits of the good book. Alas the ‘good book’ seems to be the Karma Sutra as a lot of shagging and associated jealousy goes on, that sees Astrid cast out of this home and into several others.

Meanwhile Pfeiffer is writing to Astrid from prison to explain her actions and to beg forgiveness. We also get snippets of her explosive relationship with Connelly which don’t really ring true, but are fun all the same. Despite her miserable existence in a care home, Astrid does find some happiness in a fledgling relationship with Patrick Fugit, who still has his ‘Almost Famous’ haircut present and correct.

Things look up when Astrid (who at this point looks at least 20 - the actress was in fact 23) is placed with a new foster family - Renee Zellweger and her husband. This was never a promising placement as the husband was probably already having an affair, and when Zellweger goes to meet Pfeiffer in prison, we know things won’t end well. When Zellweger achieves the Guinness World record for ‘longest lie-in on record‘, Astrid is again back in the system - can she ever find happiness and freedom from her jailbird Mom who has a svengali type influence over her?

If you like ‘problem people’ this film will be a hit for you - I thought everyone involved was a bit whiny and needy, and I was glad when it was done. To be fair it was well made with the confusing and non-linear narrative well laid out, with Astrid’s suitcase dioramas being explained as the film progressed. I didn’t really buy her relationship with the boyfriend and Connolly was woefully underused - I don’t think he had a single line to camera - he's only seen in the background, being abused by Pfeiffer. Nice work if you can get it.

Pfeiffer was the standout as the chilling and controlling mother although she looked a bit too well scrubbed after years in the big house.

The main killing was only touched on and we have at assume Connolly had been fed too much of the titular plant. The point of the film was the mother-daughter relationship and it’s fair enough that the focus was on that. There just seemed to be several more interesting films going on in the background that were tantalisingly just out of reach for this viewer.

A decent effort that will no doubt resonate with many who have mother issues. I just felt it was a bit dull and unsatisfying.

Best Bit : Fun Times With Renee ‘W’ Rating 13/23

No.221 : We Bought a Zoo (2011)

We Bought a Zoo at the IMDb

This likeable family comedy drama tells the true tale of an American family who buy a zoo. What? It was British people and the action has been changed to make it look like Americans are the heroes? It’s U-571 all over again!

To be fair I wasn't looking for a documentary of the economics of purchasing a zoo so let’s see if it’s entertaining at least.

Matt Damon plays Benjamin who is all sad after his wife died before the action started. He is caring for his two kids, one of who is a cutie pie small girl and the other a dickish teenage boy who gets expelled from school for stealing and being a gun toting psycho in waiting.  He enlists the help of an estate agent but rather than a helpful one he gets Leon out of ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’ who manages to stop swearing for his short part. After literary a few houses they are bereft of hope but wait, there’s one left! - but it’s a dilapidated zoo. Let’s buy that then!

The family move in with indecent haste and start to realise the extent of their commitment. A prick of a zoo inspector, who is clearly just doing his job, tells them to fix stuff up what with all the man eating animals and all, and they also have a tiger who isn't feeling Grrrrreeaattt!

Luckily the zoo staff are all lovely apart from the bitch of a bookkeeper who is rightfully sent to Mexico for pointing out they have run out of money. Helpfully they find a few bucks the dead wife was hiding, and soon we are making progress. Minor setbacks like a bit of rain and an escaped bear hinder their progress or at least pad the running time before it is eventually time to open - will anyone show up or will McDonalds cart off the animal cast members for burgers over the credits?

I didn't really fancy this film when it was released as it looked a bit like the whole plot is divulged in the title. In truth it was but it was still enjoyable and I have to confess to a small tear in the eye when it all turned out well, which it was always going to do.

Damon is fine as the grieving father although his zoo buying antics do seem a bit out of character - still who hasn't woken up with the odd zoo or funfair in their property portfolio? Scarlett Johansson doesn't get a lot to do as the love interest keeper and although she has been de-glamourised somewhat, this served only to give the impression that her character smelled of horses.

I didn't like the annoying son whose arc was unbelievable or Angus Macfaddyen who didn't convince as the drunken Scotsman, which was quite a feat given he’s Scottish. Better were Thomas Hayden Church as the sceptical brother who eventually gets on board after deciding he likes people more than animals - probably a good idea legally speaking too, and John Michael Higgins as the evil zoo inspector who wasn't so bad really.

It would be a hard hearted reviewer who isn’t positive about this happy tale of redemption and killing tigers, so given my heart is virtually mush it’s two thumbs up from me!

Best Bit : I liked the extending tape measure best.

‘W’ Rating 17/23

No.189 : Widow on the Hill (2005)

Widow on the Hill at the IMDb

Made for TV true crime drama next - you can accuse us of cherry picking here at the 'W' Movie Blog.

Natasha Henstridge stars as Linda, the titular widow who is a nurse with a penchant for low cut tops. The film has the narrative device of a TV show interviewing Linda as she faces a murder charge. The story is then told in flashback with occasional cuts to the present day as the interview develops. We learn from the off that Linda has been accused of killing her new husband, James Brolin.

We meet James in livelier times as a wealthy landowner whose wife is dying. He hires a nurse from an agency and gets Natasha - Bingo! James’ daughters don’t like the new lady in their Dad’s life and worry she’s a gold digger. Pretty soon James’ wife shuffles off and in no time Natasha is in the wife’s fur coat and in his bed. Her sexy style turns the old man’s head and she’s married to him in no time flat.

His daughters however fail to be won over especially as the new wedding ring is the one mum promised to her daughter. The lovely Natasha starts to woo her way into the county set but we all know she’s after his cash - or is she? Have we been seduced by the evil schemer or does she really just have a taste for James’ silver locks and outdoorsy style?

It’s not long before she starts shagging the staff and threatening the family - can this total bitch get away with ruining the family and inheriting the house?

This was a decent enough TV drama but there wasn’t too much to recommend it apart from Natasha running about in a fetching black bra and panties set. Her character was thinly drawn and we knew she was a wrong ‘un from the off with her scheming and manipulating. She didn’t offer much that would garner our sympathies and although she was set up to be a villain she just came across as a bit of a bitch.

Brolin is always likeable but he lacked believability as the rich sucker being drawn in by feminine wiles. His two suspicious daughters were just annoying and the supposedly drunk one didn’t look like she'd ever had as much as a sweet sherry.

The narrative device of the news show was a decent stab at keeping us guessing with the story being broken down to small chunks, with the present day Linda commenting on the events we’d just seen. There was no prospect of any surprises however with Brolin’s fate sealed before we met him. The script was so biased against the slutty wife that we knew the outcome early on but it was good fun to see how evil she could get while wearing a succession of bras.

It was a strange choice to have the whole film build up to the trial and then cover the court action itself with a couple of on screen captions. Maybe they ran out of cash or indeed underwear.

The production values were decent enough but it was essentially a family drama set in a small town so it didn’t need a Death Star or cast of thousands. It wasn’t anything to rave about but it’s certainly worth a look if you catch it on late night TV.

‘W’ Score 15/23

No.185 : Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins (2008)

Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins at the IMDb

Martin Lawrence stars in this alleged comedy as a successful talk show host who has to reassess his priorities when he returns to the family home and reengages with his relatives. It’s basically a fish out of water scenario rolled up with some issues and knowing that family is more important than money. So far so very righteous but is there something to be salvaged from this worthy premise? Not much!

Lawrence runs his chat show as ‘Dr RJ Taylor' and dispenses homely wisdom to his brawling guests. He’s engaged to a beautiful lady who has just won ‘Survivor’ and confident in his life of luxury and comfort. We can tell where the bar is set early on when he shows up for his plane in a white suit and orders a red wine - guess the rest! With is suit ruined and luggage lost he’s immediately out of his comfort zone and cheap laughs are gained as he has to wear a succession of gaudy outfits.

Things deteriorate as he meets up with his wise-cracking brother, complete with the afro comb stuck in his hair. The brother is meant to have an easy charm to offset RJ’s stiffness but he just comes across as an annoying prick. We learn that ‘Dr RJ Taylor’ is the Roscoe Jenkins of the title and that he’s trying to escape the humble roots that he’s now returning to.

His superior attitude is immediately pricked by his father James Earl Jones and his other siblings including the late Michael Clarke Duncan who kicks his ass whenever possible. The rest of the weekend contains all the predictable sequences such as a softball game and treasure hunt where our man is cast down from his ivory tower and forced to consider what is really important in life. That along with an endless succession of people getting hit by stuff, dog rape and fart jokes.

We learn that Roscoe regrets not hooking up with his high school sweetheart and that the ‘Survivor’ girlfriend is not that nice, as she’s conniving to snare her man like she's still on the show. Will Roscoe’s materialistic approach be forgotten for what is truly valuable and will he end up with the slightly plainer prom queen or the bitchy game show contestant? Probably the latter but you never know. Well maybe you do…

OK I’m not the target market for this film with its 99% black cast but I’m multi-cultural and can appreciate a well crafted character piece that examines family life and the assembling of wealth over other priorities - but this isn’t it. People getting hit in the balls and food fights are low brow in any culture and the wafer thin character arc for Lawrence made for an unengaging two hours.

The third act where Lawrence leaves his son behind to win an obstacle race while being cheered on by his bitch girlfriend to be greeted by his sad family and poignant musical cues was cringe worthy beyond belief. A talk with Dad flagged the inevitable Road to Damascus conversion and as Lawrence’s wardrobe improved you knew things were going to be all right.

It was a good cast and, despite some slapstick that was out of kilter with the overall tone of the film, there were some things to like. Sadly these were remote islands in a sea of mawkish sentimentality and the long-awaited payoff couldn’t be more predictable if it was set in red lights before the credits.

Best Bit :  Personal topiary wins the day
‘W’ Score - 8/23

No. 137 : Winter Passing (2005)

Winter Passing at the IMDb

People with issues - don’t you love them? Can’t beat a bit of misery and soul searching for an entertaining 90 minutes and when you throw in a kitten drowning you know you’ve got the feel good package of the year.

That’s a bit harsh actually because despite it’s depressing table of contents the film won me over with it’s top notch performances and for the small redemptions that most of the characters enjoyed.

The film follows the emotional journey of Reece, played by Zooey Deschanel whom I recently saw in the crappy ‘Yes Man’. Reece is an actress with issues who enjoys a healthy does of self harming as well as drugs and casual sex. We get to see how talented she is as she goes through auditions singing and piano playing her heart out. She is however hard up and an offer of $100K for her late mother’s letters temps her back to the family home.

We learn that both her parents were celebrated authors with her Dad, played by Ed Harris, now a recluse who has had nothing published in years. The obvious comparison here is one with JD Salinger so it’s a bit lazy that he’s called Don Holdin as in Caulfield. After a long bus trip she gets to her home to find her dad is living in the garage while a former student of his and Will Ferrell are living in his house - I hate it when that happens. The group start out cagey at first but after a series of one to ones they all start to get on famously.

Reece finds her mother’s letters but after reading them she has second thoughts about the sale. After airing some dirty linen Don starts writing again and the slightly simple Ferrell gets coerced into trying out for an open mic night, laying to rest the demons of his Christian rock days. As you’d probably guess a lot of healing and bonding goes on with the film ending with just a shaft of light appearing for most of the guys.

I quite liked this film although it does have ‘nominate me for an Oscar’ all over it. Zooey does give a bravura performance in the lead but she is a bit too needy and unpredictable to win any real affection. She has had a bad childhood so it’s fair enough that’s she’s a bit rebellious but she didn’t need to drown that sick kitten.

Ferrell is fine as the borderline retarded Corbet but he is essentially just playing his role from the later and far superior ‘Step Brothers’ right down to the performance anxiety and bursts of repressed rage. The scene where he does an Eagles song in the bar is a good one and it’s a shame that his character is forgotten at the end. Ed Harris is always good value and, despite a ropey wig, he’s fine in this too.

The film is hung pretty much across Zooey’s shoulders and the fact that it’s OK despite a glum and relentless script says a lot for her. Not a rib tickler or a pick you up special but if you like people with problems and seeing them solve some but not all of them then this could be the film for you.

Best Bit : Open Mic at the bar
‘W’ Rating :15/23

No.18 : Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory at the IMDb

Although the book and the Tim Burton remake were called ‘Charlie and the Chocolate factory’ this 1971 version went with ‘Willy Wonka’ as the producers thought that their dim audience may think the ’Charlie’ referred to the Viet-Cong. And we’re glad they did as it means this holiday TV staple qualifies for the list.



The well known plot concerns Charlie, a boy so poor that the church mice had a whip ‘round for him. He lives with his parents and four grandparents in a run down shack in a town with no apparent social services. When local candy baron and recluse Willy Wonka issues five golden tickets for a factory visit we just know that Charlie’s luck will be in. And, after a couple of misfires, it is.

Charlie is joined by various stereotypes for the factory trip and watches in horror as each is dispatched in a cunning fashion and to an annoying song. Soon only Charlie is left but can he win over the mood shifting sweet king to win the ultimate prize?





It’s almost compulsory to have seen this film and despite knowing it backwards it was no chore to see it again. Forget Johnny Depp’s wimpy and introverted interpretation what we get here is the real deal, straight from the book in the form of Gene Wilder giving his best performance ever if you exclude ‘Blazing saddles’ and ‘Stir Crazy’. His Wonka is an evil bastard with no mercy and a penchant for child abuse. No not that sort, more the feeding them to squirrels kind.



The sets are cracking and more evocative than the ones in the big budget remake. You also get better Oompa-loompas for your money and better songs to boot.

To be hyper-critical I’d say the preamble before the factory visit is over long - we know he’s finding a ticket - hurry up! Some of the songs, notably Wilder’s, are a bit sentimental and as a singer he makes a great Waco Kid.

I did like the realisations of Roald Dahl’s mad candies and the casting of the evil, rival candy baron who turns out to be nice, so no nightmares there kids. The spoilt children are well cast and despite having seen both versions of the story several times it’s the original brats that first come to mind. The Charlie however is less good being all blond and floppy like a proto Hugh Grant.

The few faults I’ve mentioned shouldn’t put you off a great dark fairy tale that the adults will enjoy as much as the kids are creeped out.

Best Bit : Fat Fecker In Fudge fall

‘W’ Rating : 17/23