No.280 : War Horse (2011)

War Horse at the IMDb

It’s not often we get a tent pole release on the W movie blog but I had the Blu-Ray of this sitting on the shelf for ages, so let’s have a look.

Directed by Steven Spielberg, I would normally have looked this up before but the wife saw it at the cinema and had such a tearful experience that she didn’t want to watch it again. Still that’s what man caves and lock downs are for.

The film opens with a horse being born. Can’t fault them for missing bits out. The horse is sold to a pissed up Peter Mullan at market who has no business buying a thoroughbred at market, apart from noising up his landlord, David Thewlis. Thewlis is made out to be a bit of a dick for wanting his rent off the permanently pissed Mullan, but you can hardly blame him. Mullan’s son Albert takes charge of the horse which he calls Joey.

Joey manages to plough a rocky field against all odds giving the locals their best entertainment in years. ‘Love Island’ was still a madman’s dream. Despite its great work with plough, Mullen sells the nag to Loki when his turnip crop fails. Loki is the nicest man in the army who needs horses for the recently started first world war. He promises to keep in touch with Albert but that plan fizzles out when his and Dr Strange’s battle plan turns out to be a load of dated bollocks.

Joey then falls into the hands of the Hun but luckily it’s the nice Germans that we rarely see on film. After a short period of ownership the German owners get shot as deserters and the horse takes up boarding with an old French man and his granddaughter. After a two minute ride the horse gets captured again by the Germans and is tasked with pulling artillery. With its luck it must have done a dump on a leprechaun.

Meanwhile Albert has enlisted in the army and has a date at the Somme. Can the man and horse be reunited to live happily ever after?

This is a quality film with some cracking sequences and star names popping up at every turn. The scenes on the Somme were fantastic, especially when Joey loses a fight with some barbed wire. Once again the Germans turn out to be nice and that’s the pervading feel of the film. Everyone is decent really - surprised that they managed to start a war!

The horse itself doesn’t have much in the way of character but it’s used as a cipher to show the various theatres of war and the consequences of it. There was plenty of gruesome deaths and the trenches were well realised. The various vignettes showing the horse’s different owners were a good device for speeding the plot along and to keep us engaged. I don’t think I was ever that taken with the horse, which looked largely disinterested throughout, but the human interest angles were well done and it would be a man of stone who wouldn’t shed a tear at the sepia toned, sunset finale.

It is a bit long at 140 minutes but there is a lot packed in and practically every British character actor you can think of - I liked Eddie Marsan’s tough as nails but nice really sergeant and Davos Seaworth’s kill ‘em no cure ‘em doctor.

Overall this is an impressive and emotional ride on an old nag that they couldn’t put down.

Best Bit : The Major put in £10 - sob!  ‘W’ Rating 19/23

No.221 : We Bought a Zoo (2011)

We Bought a Zoo at the IMDb

This likeable family comedy drama tells the true tale of an American family who buy a zoo. What? It was British people and the action has been changed to make it look like Americans are the heroes? It’s U-571 all over again!

To be fair I wasn't looking for a documentary of the economics of purchasing a zoo so let’s see if it’s entertaining at least.

Matt Damon plays Benjamin who is all sad after his wife died before the action started. He is caring for his two kids, one of who is a cutie pie small girl and the other a dickish teenage boy who gets expelled from school for stealing and being a gun toting psycho in waiting.  He enlists the help of an estate agent but rather than a helpful one he gets Leon out of ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’ who manages to stop swearing for his short part. After literary a few houses they are bereft of hope but wait, there’s one left! - but it’s a dilapidated zoo. Let’s buy that then!

The family move in with indecent haste and start to realise the extent of their commitment. A prick of a zoo inspector, who is clearly just doing his job, tells them to fix stuff up what with all the man eating animals and all, and they also have a tiger who isn't feeling Grrrrreeaattt!

Luckily the zoo staff are all lovely apart from the bitch of a bookkeeper who is rightfully sent to Mexico for pointing out they have run out of money. Helpfully they find a few bucks the dead wife was hiding, and soon we are making progress. Minor setbacks like a bit of rain and an escaped bear hinder their progress or at least pad the running time before it is eventually time to open - will anyone show up or will McDonalds cart off the animal cast members for burgers over the credits?

I didn't really fancy this film when it was released as it looked a bit like the whole plot is divulged in the title. In truth it was but it was still enjoyable and I have to confess to a small tear in the eye when it all turned out well, which it was always going to do.

Damon is fine as the grieving father although his zoo buying antics do seem a bit out of character - still who hasn't woken up with the odd zoo or funfair in their property portfolio? Scarlett Johansson doesn't get a lot to do as the love interest keeper and although she has been de-glamourised somewhat, this served only to give the impression that her character smelled of horses.

I didn't like the annoying son whose arc was unbelievable or Angus Macfaddyen who didn't convince as the drunken Scotsman, which was quite a feat given he’s Scottish. Better were Thomas Hayden Church as the sceptical brother who eventually gets on board after deciding he likes people more than animals - probably a good idea legally speaking too, and John Michael Higgins as the evil zoo inspector who wasn't so bad really.

It would be a hard hearted reviewer who isn’t positive about this happy tale of redemption and killing tigers, so given my heart is virtually mush it’s two thumbs up from me!

Best Bit : I liked the extending tape measure best.

‘W’ Rating 17/23