No. 356 : Woman of the Hour (2023)

 

Woman of the Hour at the IMDb

Anna Kendrick stars and directs this film which, although based on a promising premise, was ultimately disappointing.

 

It’s the 1970s and Sheryl, played by Kenrick, is an aspiring actress. She fails to get any proper acting jobs but her agent promises her some exposure by casting her as the girl on a TV dating show.

As she goes about her business and prepares for the gig we also get regular vignettes of a photographer who is also a serial killer. He meets and enraptures various woman and takes them on photo shoots in the desert, before murdering them. These sequence were very matter of a fact and brutal and this caused my wife to bail out after 40 minutes. I can see why as the scenes were disturbing and the film as a whole can’t be seen as entertainment.

 

Still, I pushed onto the end and although it was decent, the film was unsatisfying and seemed somewhat embellished, which having read up on the details, appears to be the case.

 

The film is well realised with cheezy 70’s sets and costumes, so it is a bit jarring when Sheryl is full on ‘me too’ slagging off the idiotic men and suffering the host who mutters the ‘C’ word in her direction. I’m not saying it was right, but what we saw on screen didn’t ring true of the 1970’s that I remember.

 

The actual TV show begins about an hour into the film and Sheryl is described as ‘the Woman of the Hour’ which seems a bit of an unlikely way to justify the name of the film, which doesn’t make much sense anyway.

 

The show rumbles on with the sassy Sheryl going off script and coming up with her own complicated questions to flummox the dopey male suitors. I may be off target here, but I’m guessing a tightly scripted TV show wouldn’t tolerate such dalliances – ask me about my ‘Weakest Link’ experience!

 

The host, not unreasonably, gets irritated with Sheryl, but she finds an ally in the make up woman. Meanwhile an audience member recognises the murderer as a criminal and tries to get him arrested but is thwarted by idiot men, who seem over represented in this picture.

 

The serial killer demonstrates his wit and charm – as well as his backstabbing skills against his fellow bachelors - and wins the day and a date with Sheryl. Despite picking him Sheryl soon smells a rat and has a narrow escape after an awkward dinner. As a coda we see the killer's next attempt at a kidnap and murder before some captions tell us how things played out.

 

I think this story about a killer who happened to appear on a TV game show was a bit thin for a full feature. I feel sure that all of Sheryl’s ad-libbed questions and her after show date were all invented and I doubt the added tension of the person reporting the killer during the taping actually happened. As I mentioned this seemed like a jarring modern take on a 50-year-old incident and it didn’t ring true.

 

The direction by Kendrick was OK but some scenes lingered too long, and the pacing was poor. I also disliked the jump around timeline, with it often unclear where we were with the serial killer’s journey.

 

Overall it’s probably worth a look but ultimately it is a small piece of TV trivia stretched beyond breaking point to justify a full feature.

 

Best Bit: The closing scene with the girl acting for her life was well done

‘W’ Rating 12/23

No.276 : Willed to Kill (2012)

Willed to Kill at the IMDb

Let’s up the ante now with this TV movie from 2013 - you get great pickings on the Sony Movie Channel!

Canada doubles for Boston in this 2013 whoisit thriller starring Sarah Jane Morris and a load of other folk you haven’t heard of but maybe vaguely recognise from other low rent offerings.

Sarah Jane is ‘Karyn’ and unfeasibly attractive homicide detective with more baggage than the carousel at Glasgow airport. Her Dad was a serial killer and that makes her really focused on catching serial killers. Can’t beat that for motivation. We open with her blowing one away in the midst of his manikin dinner party - she might have waited for the After Eights to be served. This his her third kill and technically makes her a serial killer. Her boss, who is a terrible actor, tells her to calm down, she’s got 24 hours, no place for mavericks on his force - the full cliché bargain bucket.

Karyn is concerned that two recent murders bear the hallmarks of ’The Hades Killer’ a mass murdered who claimed nine kills in six months before disappearing. Her own father was a suspect but he was too busy killing other folk, so it wan’t him.

Karyn is labelled ‘Dirty Harriet’ by her colleagues and her slimy partner who also used to be her fiancé. She’s made to take psych sessions as a result of all her killing but the Hades bodies keep racking up - as does the list of suspects.

She runs down some leads and fights off a slime ball reporter as well as the meddling FBI. Soon we’re up to six suspects - basically the entire cast.

Who can it be? The second on my list!

This was a workable police procedural with a bog standard serial killer case worked though using the tried and tested clichés of the genre - keep him on the phone while we run a trace!

They did well to have multiple plausible suspects, with my top tip of the butch woman in the parking lot proving to be a red herring. The film’s ‘TV movie’ origins we made clear with low production values and a really tame sex scene that was over before it started and with those sticky sheets that keeps everything out of view.

The lead reminded me of that woman out of ‘Criminal Minds’ and she did well with a character arc that was all over the place - she basically ran around shooting or arresting everyone she encountered.

The subplot with the ex-boyfriend partner didn’t convince, even when he said his new girlfriend was pregnant and we get a sad music cue - still a chance!

The killer, who we usually saw in shadow, was poorly developed with his killing technique being shooting people in the head - Buffalo Bill this was not.

To be fair to the film it kept me guessing - guessing how the implausible plot and thin characters made it off the script and into production!

This was a decent afternoon filler with a glamorous lead, sex free sex scenes and a plot you could drive several buses through.

W Rating 15/23 Best Bit : Rooftop dance

No.258 : Where the Devil Hides (2014)

Where the Devil Hides at the IMDb

Pat Farrell in Lee Van Cleef’s hat stars in this low budget 'serial killer in an Aimish community' romp.

The film opens with Pat making dramatic statements regarding ‘the prophecy’ Word on the streets is that when six girls are born on the same day only one will live until their 18th birthday and that one will become the Devil’s Hand.

Before the title card appears the girls start popping out and Pat is on the scene with his sickle to get all biblical on their asses. He’s shoved down the stairs by Rufus Sewell out of ‘The Man in the High Castle’ but that’s not the end of the matter, sadly.

One of the six new mums, who has presumably seen the rest of the script, opts to smother her baby and cut her own throat. Probably easier to wrangle five accesses than six and it’s easier to remember who everyone is too, so it’s a worthwhile sacrifice.

We flash forward to the present day and the girls are about to celebrate their 18th birthday - which is strange as one of them looks about 30. Their community of New Bethlehem has accepted them but the nearing of the prophecy puts them all on edge - a good time for a skinny dip in the lake then. The girls meet a couple of horny lads, one of whom saves one of them after she has a fit and lots of visions.

They split up and go to their own homes but one is soon butchered with a big sickle after choosing somewhat bizarrely, to hide down a well. With the murder weapon clearly shown it has to be Pat who is the murderer - surely?

Things take a predictable path as the girls start to thin in number and we have to wonder if the prophecy will be true and whether someone with vested interests in local jam and quilt sales may be pushing things towards his own agenda.

As we near the welcome 86th minute, sorry 18th birthday, we have to wonder who will survive, who’s doing the killings and whether the prophecy will become true - bet you manage 3 out of 3 too!

This was a lot of clichéd and risible nonsense but I have to confess to quite enjoying it. The dialogue is atrocious with poor Colm Meany having to spout out so much drivel. Sewell gets little to do and you can almost see him mulling over new agent options as he delivers his Aimish lines that look like leftovers from ‘Kingpin’.

For a horror film they are quite coy with the sex and violence with a bare bum and a few off screen slashings all you get.

If you are looking for a new take on the serial killer genre you won’t find it here and the religious angle is just ridiculous and never given any traction, no matter how many ‘visions’ they crash cut in.
Overall a bit of throwaway hokum with nothing to really to recommend it apart from a few unintended chuckles and a plot that couldn’t be more transparent if it were written on glass.

Best Bit : Pat has a look for the ‘Devil’s sign’ - the dirty bastard.
W Rating  12/23

No.216 : Wolf Creek 2 (2013)

Wolf Creek 2 at the IMDb

One of our many readers was lucky enough to find a golden ticket wedged within a generous slice of Rowantree Café carrot cake and earned the privilege of nominating the next film to be reviewed. Being the sick type that she is, she requested ‘Wolf Creek’ which is sadly not allowed due to our ‘only see new films for the purpose of reviews’ rule. I was going to make an exception but then the lawyers got involved and I have plenty of lawsuits already, thanks very much. Happily Netflix offered up a compromise in the form of ‘Wolf Creek 2’ which I’m sure is just as good as the original which I’ve totally forgotten apart from the bit where someone loses some fingers.

I did look up the original and the same bad guy is in both so I think it will be more of the same - he’s hardly likely to don a dress and sing ABBA songs is he?

We open in the outback as two cops operate a speed trap whilst stuffing their faces. A truck goes by under the speed limit but the cops decided to ticket him anyway - Huge mistake. After handing over the ticket and laughing about the redneck they pulled over, one of the cops loses three quarters of his head to what must be the best moving gun shot in history. I’m not complaining though, this was a cracker. You often hear people say ‘I’ll take your head off’ (well in Paisley anyway) but here it actually happened.

The evil redneck, Mick, quickly takes care of the other cop and we’re all ready for the titles, two bloody kills to the good already.

The film moves to two German backpackers, Rutger and Katarina, who are doing the sights, such as the titular crater from where the film gets its name. The two bunk down for the night but are soon awoken by Mick who chides them for lighting a fire in a National Park before offering them a lift to town. Rutger smells a rat and refuses but frankly he’s getting it regardless - no way are they keeping subtitles going for the whole film.

After a beating, Katarina wakes up under a tarpaulin and pops her head out to see Mick grab himself some German sausage - don’t ask. She wanders off into the bush and manages to make it to a road where she encounters a jeep driven by Englishman Paul. The pair are quickly pursed by Mick and before long it’s is mano a mano as Paul tries to outwit his pursuer and ultimately escape his dungeon of horrors.

This was a horrible film but it was well done and if you like this kind of thing you won’t be disappointed. What’s strange is that it is produced by Screen Australia and there are lots of expensive looking shots showing the beauty of the outback and its wildlife. You’d think this would be to encourage people to visit, but I doubt a single soul has seen this and thought ‘You know this true story about an unchecked serial killer roaming the outback has really encouraged me to visit that crater’.

For the most part this is a two hander and both main actors do well with the sadistic material. I liked John Jarrett as Mick but he sometimes got a bit near to a Paul Hogan type caricature of a drunken xenophobic Aussie. When he was mad he was scary, but he turned it on and off so that it was more unconvincing than unsettling. Ryan Corr was good as Paul given the role mostly consisted of screaming and reacting to terrible sights. I thought he was going to have more back story than it turned out but in truth he’s only there as a canvas for the bad guy to mess up.

There are only seven onscreen kills but the mood is relentless, with Mick being an unstoppable force with seemingly no end of weapons and vehicles to throw at his victims - literally in some cases.

The pace slows somewhat once Paul enters Chez Mick and there is a long scene where he tries to keep his obviously mental jailer onside by playing Australian trivia with him. The cost of a wrong answer is having a finger ground off with an angle grinder so make sure you mug up on Dame Edna if you are planning a visit to Oz.

Overall this is a squalid film with no redemption offered. I’m not sure that the ending could be considered a happy one but I was glad when it was over and felt somewhat grubbier for having sat through it. Do hope they make a third one though!

‘W’ Score 18/23
Best Bit - People are dying to get in Mick’s place

No. 153 : Wilderness (2006)

Wilderness at the IMDb

Here’s a familiar film even if you haven’t seen it before. ‘Wilderness’ is a decent enough effort but the list of films like it are is as long as your arm. Basically what you get is a group of people trapped in the woods who are gradually whittled down by a mystery assailant. Let’s see ‘Severance’, ‘Dog Soldiers’, ‘Southern Comfort’, ‘Wild Country’ - the list is potentially endless. Clearly the format is a winner what with it being cheap and an easy narrative along the lines of ‘10 Little Indians. That’s not to say that you won’t enjoy the film, just don’t expect anything new or innovative, apart from a couple of neat killings.

We open in a young offenders institution where a new lad, who’s obviously going to be the hero, is having his first day. They stay in a dormitory and two wimpy boys are bullied by some of the others. After one pee soaking too many, one kills himself much to the umbrage of the governor who sends them away to an island as punishment. The island is supposed to be uninhabited but it’s positively teeming with people including four girls from another institution who had double booked the place and an old tramp who turns up dead with bite marks after running afoul of two of the inmates.

Things take a predictable turn when prison warder Sean Pertwee makes his customary early exit due to some crossbow arrows and for being some Alsatians’ dinner. With the two groups now united they have to join forces to try and survive in the wilderness. Soon they start dropping like flies and they deduce that the mystery killer is the dad of the boy who killed himself, who happens to be ex-special forces and pretty good with a crossbow, man traps and dog training.

With the inmates starting to account for each other as well as falling into traps it’s soon time to take bets on who will survive and escape the island. It’s who you’d expect, really.

Despite a glaring lack of originality I quite enjoyed this film. It doesn’t take itself too seriously and there are several laugh out loud moments as well as a few ‘eeewwws’. The best one for me was the man’s ingenious way of extricating himself from a man trap when the dogs were sighted - that’s gotta hurt!

There is not a lot in the way of characterisation and most of the borstal boy stereotypes are present and correct. There is one wrong foot near the end but if you don’t see that coming you must have a bag over your head. The death effects are largely good with Sean Pertwee suffering a graphic fate that goes on a bit long even for there desensitised eyes.

The ‘mystery’ element is discarded right away with an early suggestion on a monster attack quickly jettisoned for a straightforward survival thriller. That was probably a good choice, although I wonder if it was done late in the day due to budget concerns as the set up of ‘a disused military base’ was signposted strongly quite early on. As it was, it was your standard hunt ‘em down fare and although it was nothing new there is a certain comfort in a run of the mill killing off young people gore fest.

Best Bit : Sean’s Pedigree Chums
‘W’ Rating 15/23

No. 121 : Wacko (1982)

Wacko at the IMDb

I was always told that if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all. With this in mind the review of ‘Wacko’ shouldn’t really get beyond the first sentence. Well review it we must and although I’ll try to remain my usual positive self it will be hard to be nice about this awful, awful film.

The set up is pretty good with the film being an ‘Airplane’ style take on slasher movies with a cast that includes familiar faces like George Kennedy, Joe Don Baker (out of some of the latter day ‘James Bond’ films’) and Andrew ‘Dice’ Clay. The plot concerns the ‘lawnmower killer’, a loon with a pumpkin mask who killed a bunch of kids at the ‘Pumpkin Prom’ using, you guessed it, a lawn mower.

Years later and the killer is still at large. Today’s crop of horny teens are getting ready for this year's prom but jaded detective Dick is still on the case. He claims he hasn’t slept for 13 years which is not something anyone watching this film could lay claim to! One of the murdered kid's sister who witnessed the attack is still traumatized and matters aren’t helped by her peeping Tom Dad (Kennedy) who is also a messy surgeon.

At the school a mad German scientist, doing his best Peter Sellers impression, is trying out drugs on the football team which have wolf man inducing side effects. With an escape from the mental hospital and sightings of the lawnmower Killer increasing we have to worry who, if anyone, from the cast will survive and who really is the pumpkin masked miscreant?

This film manages to score 2.3/10 on the IMDb and frankly it’s flattered by that. It is the least funny film I’ve seen in a long time and I’ve seen ‘Superhero Movie’. The main problem is the script which calls for all the characters to be wacky and eccentric. The joy of the ‘Airplane’ films is that they were played straight, with ridiculous lines and situations regarded as the norm. In this mess you get George Kennedy embarrassing himself as a letchy father come surgeon who’s only humour is derived from being a known actor making a tit of himself.

The plot doesn’t make any sense, but we could forgive that if they pepper the film with rapid fire gags and funny observations. Sadly we get none, with nods to the likes of ‘Halloween’ and ‘Poltergeist’ barely raising a smile. One sequence, for which a caption appeared suggesting the viewer go to the refreshment stand as it wasn’t important, summed up how forgettable and throwaway the whole enterprise was.

I was looking forward to an early appearance from the Dice Man but sadly his underwritten role involved him having a big cock that could tip tables if someone made a suggestive remark. For all its teen slasher pretensions there is little swearing, no nudity and precious little violence. When you marry this lack of ingredients to shoddy direction and a mirth free script you can understand why the film is largely forgotten. A real turd of a film and the worst investment of 90 minutes you can imagine. Not so bad it’s good, it's just dreadful.

Best Bit : Spray cream Bikini
‘W’ Rating : 3/23

No.74 : Waz (2007)

Waz at the IMDb

The IMDb gives the title of this film as ‘W Delta Z’ which seems a bit literal to me but to be fair they do use the Greek letter as a substitute ‘A’. Never mind, gets on the list either way!

‘Waz’ is a detective thriller in which a serial killer is on the loose. Jaded detective Eddie Argo and his fresh faced partner Helen notice that the bodies have unusual injuries and have an equation carved into their flesh. Lab tests reveal the presence of horse tranquilliser and as good fortune would have it there is only one source of the drug in the area. They raid the supplier and find slightly wacky lab man Dennis Pennis and the self same equation on the black board. It transpires that Pennis is just the supplier and he only has a few clues to assist the detectives.

The cops notice that the bodies are linked and that they appeared to have been given the choice to be killed or allow a close friend or relative to die in their place. We learn that Eddie had a high profile case collapse that involved many of the now dead people and his only link is the victim in that case, a rather grubby looking Selma Blair. Things move quickly when we learn that Blair is indeed the killer and that she’s been working on the equation which she believes proves that we’ll always seek self preservation over the welfare of others, even if they are our children or grandparents.

The last surviving acquitted man is in police protection but manages to fall into the killers hands. Eddie now has a choice should he let the man die or place himself in the killer’s hands?





This was a pretty horrible post ‘Saw’ serial killer with an elaborate plan movie. I don’t know what’s wrong with a good old fashioned killing spree as nowadays it seems to be a requirement that the killer has a scheme and a sound proof basement. The tortures such as nails bashed into finger nails and knees hammered were really gruesome and certainly not my idea of entertainment.



The detection angle was pretty good, although as soon as we meet the scarred and weird Blair there is no doubt that she’s the baddie. They did well to dispel any notions that her plan was unworkable by having her enlist unwilling strangers to help he move burly men by acting weak and needy.

The big reveal at the end did catch me unaware but on reflection it wasn’t really believable and nothing that had gone before gave it any credibility. The torture scenes were brutal and nasty and although necessary in the frame work of the film you have to wonder who’d enjoy seeing them.

These torture horror crime films are getting more and more prevalent and it isn’t welcome trend. This film wanted to be ‘Se7en’ but fell well short of that and barely scraped its way to parity with the likes of the ‘Saw’ franchise. It did have a good cast but when you have Melissa George and Selma Blair looking like a pair of hags you are clearly not making the most of your assets. Of course grimy and squalid is what the director aspired too and the fact that he achieved this meant only that my enjoyment was curtailed.

Not one to recommended unless you are a sick son of a bitch!


Best Bit : How much do you love Granny?

‘W’ Score : 12/23