No.248 : We Are Monster (2014)

We Are Monster at the IMDb

Uplifting family fun now as we enjoy a knockabout British romp set in a young offenders institution. Actually, scratch that - this is one of the nastiest and most depressing films you’ll ever see. It could be claimed to be a drama documentary profiling a shocking case of murder and institutional ineptitude but it’s just a horrible watch that offers nothing in the way or answers or, God forbid, entertainment.

The film opens at its inevitable conclusion with a blood soaked youth being bundled out of his cell as he stands over his bloodied victim. There is no explanation but we are then shuttled back a few weeks so that we can understand how we got here. To be honest they could have covered the ground in two minutes - mental racist kills Asian cell mate. Still if they’d went that way we wouldn’t have had the full 90 minutes of nihilistic fun and racial slurs.

The subject of the film, which is ‘based on a true story’, is Robert a self tattooed racist who has been in the system for years. He is in for threatening a call centre worker and seems off balance from the start. Before long he starts talking with himself - literally as his nasty persona takes form as himself whom only he can see. This leads to lots of scene where he is egging himself on to greater and greater feats of nastiness whilst the P.O.V.s of other prisoners show him to be talking to an empty seat.

The prison officers, who include Clem Fandango, aren’t much use and aren’t shy of a bit of casual racism themselves. They put Robert in a cell with Asian youth Zahid who is in for stealing razor blades - before long he’s going to wish he went with a beard! Zahid tried to be friendly but backs off when Robert gets more aggressive and introverted. Zahid is due to be released in a few days so resolves to keep his head down.

Robert meanwhile starts to delve into his past and tries to rationalise his situation. The film does the same with an abusive childhood and faults in the system the reason for Robert’s mental state. Some of these scenes were well done with his brown underpants wearing father beating him up as a child for wetting the bed. The film isn’t too apologist for Robert’s ultimate act but you do get the sense that they are showing him to be a victim too.

As the film moves towards its inevitable climax we are left to wonder what could have been done differently and what have we learned. Should we have watched that Adam Sandler comedy instead? Maybe!

This is an impossible film to like with its endless racist rants and unsubtle swipes at authority and society. They was an effort to explain Robert’s actions but that veered away from his own responsibility and while he was broken by the system he’s still a murdering scumbag with no redeeming features.

The film was hung on the central performance of Leeshon Alexander as Robert and he did OK with a difficult dual role. As ‘normal’ Robert he was too starey and manic and as his alter ego he was annoying and shouty. He did have difficult material to work with though, as he was spouting a lot of garbage that even the KKK would see as a tad extreme.

The closing captions of the film lay all the blame at the authorities’ door, and of course there were shortcomings, but to make apologies for the central scumbag didn’t sit right and you have to wonder about the point of the whole enterprise. The film’s vibe was hateful throughout and all I came away with was a grubby feeling for having watched the whole grim spectacle.

Best Bit - No I can’t hear you Clem Fandango
‘W’ Rating - 8/23

No. 153 : Wilderness (2006)

Wilderness at the IMDb

Here’s a familiar film even if you haven’t seen it before. ‘Wilderness’ is a decent enough effort but the list of films like it are is as long as your arm. Basically what you get is a group of people trapped in the woods who are gradually whittled down by a mystery assailant. Let’s see ‘Severance’, ‘Dog Soldiers’, ‘Southern Comfort’, ‘Wild Country’ - the list is potentially endless. Clearly the format is a winner what with it being cheap and an easy narrative along the lines of ‘10 Little Indians. That’s not to say that you won’t enjoy the film, just don’t expect anything new or innovative, apart from a couple of neat killings.

We open in a young offenders institution where a new lad, who’s obviously going to be the hero, is having his first day. They stay in a dormitory and two wimpy boys are bullied by some of the others. After one pee soaking too many, one kills himself much to the umbrage of the governor who sends them away to an island as punishment. The island is supposed to be uninhabited but it’s positively teeming with people including four girls from another institution who had double booked the place and an old tramp who turns up dead with bite marks after running afoul of two of the inmates.

Things take a predictable turn when prison warder Sean Pertwee makes his customary early exit due to some crossbow arrows and for being some Alsatians’ dinner. With the two groups now united they have to join forces to try and survive in the wilderness. Soon they start dropping like flies and they deduce that the mystery killer is the dad of the boy who killed himself, who happens to be ex-special forces and pretty good with a crossbow, man traps and dog training.

With the inmates starting to account for each other as well as falling into traps it’s soon time to take bets on who will survive and escape the island. It’s who you’d expect, really.

Despite a glaring lack of originality I quite enjoyed this film. It doesn’t take itself too seriously and there are several laugh out loud moments as well as a few ‘eeewwws’. The best one for me was the man’s ingenious way of extricating himself from a man trap when the dogs were sighted - that’s gotta hurt!

There is not a lot in the way of characterisation and most of the borstal boy stereotypes are present and correct. There is one wrong foot near the end but if you don’t see that coming you must have a bag over your head. The death effects are largely good with Sean Pertwee suffering a graphic fate that goes on a bit long even for there desensitised eyes.

The ‘mystery’ element is discarded right away with an early suggestion on a monster attack quickly jettisoned for a straightforward survival thriller. That was probably a good choice, although I wonder if it was done late in the day due to budget concerns as the set up of ‘a disused military base’ was signposted strongly quite early on. As it was, it was your standard hunt ‘em down fare and although it was nothing new there is a certain comfort in a run of the mill killing off young people gore fest.

Best Bit : Sean’s Pedigree Chums
‘W’ Rating 15/23