No.315 : White Bird in a Blizzard (2014)

White Bird in a Blizzard (2014) at the IMDb

No, it’s not a National Geographic production about our feather friends in Alaska, this is a period mystery coming of age film that has a lot to like. Shailene Woodley plays Kat, a young woman growing up in the 80’s. The time line jumps around from the present day looking back, to sections set in 1988 and later on in 1991.

The film is narrated by Kat who remembers her Mum going missing and how she and her father dealt with the situation. Her mother, played by Eva Green, simply disappeared one day and despite a two year police investigation, no trace of her was ever found.

Kat stays loyal to her Dad and offers insights into her parent’s loveless marriage which saw her Mum flirting with her teenage boyfriend and Dad taking solace in his large collection of jazz mags, which he keeps in a cupboard, secured with a special combination lock. Remember that for later!

Kat sees therapist Angela Bassett and their discussions give us clues to Mum’s fate. We also explore Kat’s dreams in which she sees her Mum in a Narnia style frozen world asking for help. Kat’s boyfriend is a bit thick using lines like ‘it’s a vicious circus’ sending Kat into the arms of Detective Thomas Jane who is investigating her Mum’s case. She also confides in her friends and, after returning home from college, she starts to try and learn the truth. Are some things best left undisturbed?

I enjoyed this mystery cum rites of passage film that saw Kat’s idealised version of events slowly be unwound. When she starts to have doubts she realises that all her friends had them too and indeed tried to convince her that her downtrodden Dad may know more than he was letting on.

The 80’s were well realised and I liked the soundtrack of 80’s British bands like Depeche Mode, Pet Shop Boys and Echo and the Bunnymen. Shailene was excellent in the lead and this was basically her film. I liked her sticking up for Dad but slowly realising that he might be a bit of a dick. The clues were rote large, with the outcome not too much of a surprise - but there were a couple of wrong foots, as the suspiciously padlocked freezer was slowly opened.

The supporting cast was great with poor old Tom Jane having to once again show his ‘Hung' swordsman credentials. Nice work if you can get it. It was also good to see Laura Palmer show up as Dad’s new squeeze, although we could have seen more of her than the couple of scenes she got.

I think the film lost it’s nerve towards the end - I was quite happy with the mystery being unsolved - that’s the way most disappearances end up. Instead they went into pretty graphic detail regarding the fate of Mum and the motivation behind it. You could argue the clues were there, but there again Dad was a fan of ‘Hustler’ not something with a more male leaning!

The film was a tight 90 minutes and I liked it’s jaded melancholy feel with the world going to shit and no one able or willing to do much about it. The last act could have been handled better but I liked the mystery and detection angles and when set against a backdrop of 80’s music and fashion you have a definite winner on your hands.

Best Bit : Tom Does Some Detective Work ‘W’ rating 18/23

No.244 : Watchers (1988)

Watchers at the IMDb

 If you are in the market for an 80’s monster film with big hair and a super intelligent dog then ‘Watchers’ may just be what you are looking for. It’s based on a book by Dean Koontz (at least I think that’s how he spells his name) and I’m guessing it is pretty far removed from the source material as no one does much watching nor are any of the protagonists called ‘watchers’. Still I watched it (worse luck) so let’s see what we saw.

The film stars a mulleted Corey Haim who has a BMX and a hot girlfriend. They get all kissy face in a barn but before you know it she’s been kidnapped and a large monster is on the prowl. We learn from Secret Service Agent Michael Ironside (hair loss at critical levels) that an experiment has escaped from a local lab and it is on a killing spree. It doesn’t like eyes or mirrors so you have to wonder if it is having a bad hair day itself. In fact it is looking for its fellow escapee, a super smart dog. Ironside also warns that there were three experiments at the lab!

The super smart dog shows up at Corey’s house and he christens it ‘Fur face’. The dog understands English and is soon fetching hot dogs, playing Scrabble and writing computer messages with a pencil in it’s mouth. Obviously these things are impossible with paws so fortunately its handiwork happens off camera. While Corey is bonding with the dog, partly by sleeping in the nude with it under his covers, the monster is on the rampage. Various bit parts get chomped and have their eyes removed in scenes a bit too graphic for a film with a smart dog and BMX interest.

Ironside realises that Corey is his best chance to catch up with the monster and dog and soon gets as brutal as the monster - are his ties to the lab more than he is letting on or did he just find the wig shop closed? As everyone converges on a remote shack the scene is set for a titanic battle where the real monster will be unmasked and the fires will be terrifying - well there is a lot of hairspray about.

This was a right old pile of crap but it was funny and dated enough to keep me watching. Not in an ironic way where I laughed at the hairstyles and bad acting…Ok in  exactly that way.

The feeble plot doesn’t have enough to sustain a 90 minute film so subplots and disposable characters are thrown in such as Jason Priestley’s BMX gang who are dispatched in merciless fashion by the monster who clearly had enough of their terribleness - at least Piggy almost made it. The monster itself was a slow reveal with hairy arms and the odd toothy yell all we were treated to. They should maybe have kept it ambiguous as the 'terrifying creature' turned out to be the same costume as the one from‘Bigfoot and the Hendersons’.

The acting, admittedly with terrible material, was shocking with Michael Ironside doing his best to be a hard as nails baddie whilst trying to stop dazzling us all with his bald head and spouting his menace free dialogue. At one point his partner says “This is pretty ridiculous, don’t you think?” Sir, you are correct!

Best Bit : Michael’s big reveal
‘W’ Rating 11/23