A group of people find themselves in a prison cell block. Nasty guards in military uniforms berate them, and they don’t know whey they are there. You basically have two options - is it a ‘Saw’ type maniac torturing them or is this a Hell or Purgatory type place? It’s the second one!
We don’t know which it is at first, but slowly we run through the motley crew of prisoners to understand how they found themselves in their current predicament. The first chap finds a white ribbon on his cell bars. This suggests that his judgement is that he is to be pardoned. Of course there is a twist and his pardon isn’t until tomorrow, which means he can be tortured in the interim. This takes the shape of him having all his teeth pulled out with pliers which we see in graphic detail. We flash back to his crime which was biting his girlfriend’s face off; so the punishment is just!
We also get a lady baby killer and another female from a circus who threw an axe into her love rival’s head. The rival is here too, and that was the first hint that we were looking at a spiritual house of correction, rather than it simply being some sadistic pervert who was calling the shots.
You also get the worst actor in living memory giving out the dinners. This actor chose, to quote ‘Tropic Thunder’, to go “full retard” and he does it in the most unconvincing manner imaginable. His back-story was that he killed a woman and ate her eyes with a spoon - so he is now condemned to be in charge of the spoons as he gives out his plates of slop. Take that irony!
After an hour a mystic chap appears, having come from an ‘Obi Wan’ tribute event. He fills out the bits of the story we haven’t guessed by explaining that they are in the soul harvesting game and, along with another character who used to be a prisoner but is in fact in on the game, they clear house ready for the next intake. Don’t let it be you!
This was a horrible film that was just plain nasty. I don’t need to see eyeballs being scooped out, or numerous faces being smashed to a pulp. I know it’s a horror film but the brutality was off putting with every character being doused in raspberry sauce before they were dispatched in an un-inventive, but nasty manner.
From the first scene I guessed they were all in purgatory and I was right. The characters were wafer thin, with old staples like the troubled priest and misunderstood witch all getting an airing. The sets and make up were decent, and at least they slotted in some flashbacks to reduce the tedium of endless cell block scenes.
There were however no surprises and nothing to keep me interested, just a cavalcade of dull characters who were judged and killed with no sign of redemption in sight. I think the learning was to be good, lest this pair of avengers put you on the list. Being condemned to watch this rubbish through again would be more likely incentive for me to reform!
Best Bit - A Day at the Circus! ‘W’ Rating 4/23
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