We open with the henpecked Dad off ‘Fawlty Towers’ carrying a sack whilst being tailed by three young children. He chucks the sack in a pond, but this is recovered by the kids who find three kittens inside. The kids all live with their widowed Dad ( ’M’ of the James Bonds - must be deep cover) and their aunt on a farm with the attempted kitten drowner being their labourer.
The kids can’t keep the kittens and receive a few rejections including one from a Salvation Army lady who tells them that Jesus will look after them. As he isn’t immediately available the children hide the kittens in a box in the barn.
Later that night the oldest girl, Kathy (Hayley Mills) returns to feed them only to discover a bearded man in the barn who exclaims ‘Jesus Christ’ before keeling over. Taking this as an introduction rather than an expression of surprise, Kathy is convinced that their guest is the second coming and soon returns with her sister and her Dad’s best bottle of port and some bread. You know, Jesus food.
Over the course or three days the three children run errands for Jesus such as getting him some cake and fetching his gun from a railway tunnel. Meanwhile the police have a manhunt on for a murderer - could these plot threads be related?
Despite a vow of silence the kids soon blab after some encouragement from the school bully. Soon a dozen or so disciplines show up and are read to by Jesus from the holy text of ‘Shirley‘ magazine. Cracks start to show however when ‘Jesus’ lets a kitten die and the police dragnet is closing in. Will we get a massacre or is the kitten the extent of the deaths on show?
This was a nice film about innocence and about how gullible children are. That’s not fair actually, the man on the run, played by Alan Bates, never claimed to be Jesus, the kids just assumed he was. Beards must be rare in Barnsley.
The kids were all excellent and a great selection of urchins and cherubs was offered. Alan Barnes was great as the five year old Charles and it’s a pity he only made one other film. Hayley Mills does most of the work as the oldest daughter and she seemed a bit old to be so naive. I guess she just wanted to believe.
There was mild menace as the cops closed in, but I think it was good that the murderer was softened by the children rather than have him murder some in a desperate bid for freedom. No small sacrifice given this was the time of capital punishment.
The credits list Bates’ character as ‘The Man’ but the cops call him ‘Blakey’ I 'ate you credits writer!
In the end it transpired, as you’d probably have guessed, that Bates’ wasn’t Christ, he was just a naughty boy.
This was an enjoyable film which, although slight on plot, had some great performances and cracking locations.
Best Bit : ‘Get me my Jesus gun. And some fags’. 19/23
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