No. 118 : What’s New Pussycat? (1965)

What's New Pussycat? at the IMDb

Here’s a film that looks a cracker but turns out to be a lot of self indulgent twaddle. We open with Peter Sellers running about doing a funny German accent and acting all manic. Not promising. We learn that he’s a psychologist and his next patient is Peter O’Toole who has a messy love life.

Peter’s girlfriend wants to settle down and, although he loves her, he can’t resist the allure of all the ladies. He works with gaggles of beautiful woman as an editor on a Paris fashion magazine and can’t help himself from sampling the goods, so to speak. Sellers is in no state to offer advice due to his own domestic problems and resolves to follow his patient to get a low down on his techniques.

Elsewhere Woody Allen is in town, playing himself as usual, this time masquerading as a dresser at a strip show. “20 Francs a week isn’t much but it’s all I can afford to pay” he muses in one of the better lines. As we tour Peter’s hedonistic life we start to lose all empathy for him as he seems a right moaning git - if it’s so bad I’ll swap places right now!

The film is not so much about his journey of self discovery rather than a decadent trip through the lives of the rich and famous. This empty experience is punctured somewhat by the group therapy sessions, but as all the other patients are fat and ugly we are encouraged not to care about them and laugh at their unattractiveness.

Peppered throughout the film are various star turns such as Richard Burton and Ursula Andress, cashing in on her Bond fame once again, but these are pretty pointless and add only to the film’s air of fantasy and vapidness. It may be a sixties thing, and it may be great with pots of drugs on hand, but for me Sellers and O’Toole talking a lot of bollocks while pulling birds and wearing velvet suits isn’t an ideal viewing experience.

No real effort is made at redemption and no insights are offered into the human condition. Instead we get protracted scenes of fashionable lovelies fawning over O’Toole and telling him he’s beautiful. Nice work if you can get it, but it’s tiresome from the off and it just trails off from there.

Much of the dialogue is screamed out with even the lowest volume setting unbearable. Add to this a druggy hippy soundtrack and you get a downright unpleasant experience that I gave up on after an hour. I will never know if Peter and Peter found true love and happiness, but frankly I couldn’t care less

Best Bit : Sexy lady fantasy
‘W’ Rating : 7/23

No. 117 : Wish You Were Here (1987)

Wish You Were Here at the IMDb

In an English sea side town in the 1950’s there’s not a lot to do, well unless you look like Emily Lloyd! The film opens with the iconic scene of Emily riding her bike around town with her skirt tucked into her knickers. Given her carefree and happy demeanour you’d be forgiven for thinking the title is an inspirational one but it’s not, for grim times lie ahead.

The film was originally intended to be Cynthia Payne’s childhood but it soon outgrew that restraint and with Cynthia renamed Linda the director was free to open her up to all manner of experiences.

At 16 Linda is just blossoming into womanhood. A local lad takes her to the flicks but he’s a bit slow and is soon replaced with Marcus Tandy out of the bus garage. Despite his worldly ways he’s a bit of a letdown in the sack and she’s soon off looking for more fresh meat.

Juxtaposed against her free spirited ways are the grim scenes with her family and most notably her Dad. Dad is a social climber and his daughter’s hijinx cause him no end of grief. After getting her jobs at the bus depot and chip van he loses his rag and takes her to see a psychiatrist who feels the loss of her mother may have given her issues. It’s hard to argue especially as she’s in the background while the prognosis is being given flashing her knickers.

Soon Linda is getting it on with her father’s bookie Tom Bell who soon knocks her up condemning Linda to a seemingly bleak future. After being sent away to have the child we have to wonder if she’ll manage to grow up and make the best of her situation.

This is a really enjoyable slice of life with a cracking lead performance from Emily Lloyd. Daughter of Trigger, she does well as a 16 year old flirting like mad and spouting some earthy dialogue. The grim situations and social hypocrisies are well counterpointed with some great comedic scenes that propelled ‘Up yer bum’ into the national vernacular.

The supporting cast are excellent, from her straight laced and easily embarrassed father to Tom Bell as the sleazy bookie. Lloyd does great to tread the thin line between mental and annoying and sexy and unsettling. The film ends on a largely optimistic note and given how much we’ve invested in the charater you’d hope so. It’s a shame that Lloyd didn’t go onto better things but at least she did more fine ‘W’ work in the soon to be reviewed ‘When Saturday Comes’.

Best Bit : Tea room showdown
‘W’ Rating : 18/23

No. 116 : Walled In (2009)

Walled in at the IMDb

Here’s a nice happy tale that opens with a small child waking in a confined space before being drowned in concrete. Lovely, heart warming stuff. The credits follow straight away and by using a familiar montage of newspaper cuttings we learn that a serial killer is at large after killing 16 people by, you’ve guessed it, walling them in.

We cut to 15 years later and a pretty young demolition expert (is there any other kind?) gets the offer of a partnership in the family firm if she can raze a building that we know but she doesn’t was the walling in house. Strange that such an infamous case passed her by, but pretty soon she’s on site taking notes and readying the place for demolition. Here she meets the widow of one of the victims who now acts as caretaker and her troubled son, the creepy kid out of ‘Birth’.

We learn that the ugly building in the middle of nowhere has 200 apartments, four of which are still occupied. The eighth floor where the murders took place is out of bounds as is the roof, so no guesses where the next ports of call are. The boy takes a shine to our demolition specialist and he grants her access to various secret passages and steals her books from a cranky old woman which once belonged the building’s now presumed dead creator.

As she completes her survey she finds that a lot of space is missing and learns that a central area has been secretly sealed off for dubious purposes. With her anonymous boyfriend now on the scene the pair resolve to find out the secrets of the building and of the murders which may not be as solved as we were lead to believe.

I enjoyed the first hour of this film but my interest quickly waned when the boy friend appeared and the ‘surprise’ was revealed. To be honest when the flying headline said ‘Architect Dead; Factory Worker Suspected and On Run’ I though ‘hmm wonder if he faked it’. I won’t give the shock away, but he did.

The building was well realised and it was a bit like the Architectural Digest version of the ‘Saw’ films. It did however lack the inventiveness of that franchise and for the last half hour it looked like it was being made up on the hoof. The dead eyed boy was an obvious candidate for the crimes but I certainly didn’t forsee the unbelievable contents of the pit or the mad ramblings of its inhabitant.

There were a couple of decent bits but points were lost for the dreaded shock - it’s a dream - shock - oh wait it’s a dream within a dream - wake up. Fool me once shame on me fool me twice get a new cliché. Mischa Barton was OK in the lead but not entirely convincing as a demolition expert given her ‘The O.C’ credentials. She was certainly better than the boyfriend who may as well have has a black spot on his head when he showed up although he did last two minutes longer than I expected.

All in all it’s a pretty competently made thriller but it lacked any real horror, shocks or suspense; so unless you are walled into a small space yourself with only this DVD for company, I wouldn’t bother.

Best Bit : Bath Time

‘W’ Rating 11/23

No. 115 : Wimbledon (2004)

Wimbledon at the IMDb

We may be in the middle of clay court season but there’s always time for a good old British under dog rom-com. Paul Bettany takes on the Hugh Grant role as the soppy Brit taken out of his comfort zone by a sassy American. Bettany plays Peter Colt the World ranked 110 player who once was 11th but now tumbling down the pecking order. He’s considering taking on a job at Citizen Smith’s country club and a wild card at Wimbledon means he has a chance to close out his career at the grand slam.

A cock up at the Dorchester sees him going to the room of young American star Lizzy Bradbury and catching her in the shower. After doing the English twit routine he resolves to enjoy his final tournament with the indifferent support of his dad Yosser Hughes and brother James McAvoy out of ‘Wanted’. His first round against an Indian up and comer goes well after our man is reinvigorated after a rendezvous with Lizzy.

As the tournament progresses Peter finds renewed spirit as the romance blossoms. There are of course bumps in the road with Sam Neil’s over protective Dad and Jon Favereau’s pushy agent offering mild concerns. With Lizzy’s game suffering and Peter on the ascendancy we have to guess whether the underdog will win the title, the girl or both. Yes, wonder.

A film like this is pretty much immune to criticism. Any tennis fan will pick nits through the ludicrous tournament progression and wonder why a British player in the semi finals is relegated to an outside court. The actual tennis action is OK and wisely kept to a minimum. The shots are rarely classics with a lot more players than you’d expect falling over and missing easy running passes.

Bettany is likable in the lead but doesn’t impress as a champion tennis player or as the all conquering swordsman. Kirsten Dunst is better as Lizzy but she must be the oldest Wimbledon debutant in history. She’s a bit too good goody as the spoiled brat, but that role didn’t suit her in the first place. The pair don’t convince as a couple but when Kirsten gets down to her skimpies I found that I didn’t really care.

On the home front the family are largely superfluous with the parents romance being rekindled by the tournament run pretty unconvincing. In an early role for McAvoy he gets little to do as the gambling brother soon to see the light.

We all love an underdog and while the journey is pretty far fetched stranger things have happened. Not many but maybe the odd one. With a Brit doing the business at Wimbledon and a ginger bloke pulling a Yank hottie we know it’s a work of fiction but it’s an inoffensive and mildly amusing distraction.

Wait, better end on a tennis metaphor…it’s smash hit. Well a service hold late in the first set at any rate.

Best Bit : Kirsten takes a shower
‘W’ Rating : 14/23

No. 114 : Who Killed The Electric Car? (2006)

Who Killed the Electric Car at the IMDb

Together with entertaining, the point of a documentary has to be informing and educating its audience. If you asked any person the question posed in the film’s title they’d no doubt reply ‘oil companies?’ - and guess what - you’d be right! As an exercise in the bleedin’ obvious the film does well, but less so when the criteria is to be enlightening and informative.

When the credits show that Martin Sheen is doing the narration and that Ed Begley Jnr. is a contributor you have a good idea where the film’s leanings lie and your instinct would be correct. It’s well enough made and it keeps its sound bites short while peppering the film with interesting facts and graphics. What is also does however is give you the sense that you’re being lectured and that the conclusions were drawn long before the first camera rolled.

The arguments presented are pretty damning with the electric car seemingly killed off despite its magical abilities. Of course the oil companies and the car manufacturers are interested in making money and it is hardly surprising that they did what they could to throw a spanner in the works. With the technology more or less proven the oil industry lost interest as they still have 30 years of supplies to flog. The car makers lose out on the lucrative servicing of the dirty gas guzzlers so they have an obvious interest in the status quo.

So that fair enough then, we are in a capitalist economy and the corporations should be free to do as they please as long as it’s legal. Not so, as this film gleefully shows with endless small groups of hippy types blockading car storage facilities and boo-hooing over the crushing of their beloved, but short range cars. All the usual suspects are trotted out with the self righteousness of some of the output strong enough to power a small nation.

There were a few interesting snippets and I was at least glad to see that technology exists that will serve us when the oil goes. For now the government is in the pocket of the oil companies and the wars in the gulf keep industry turning and the backhanders rolling in. It’s clearly not right but that’s how it is and nothing short of a revolution will stop that. Well a revolution or staging a tacky mock funeral for an ugly car at a cemetery.

The film is OK as a naive distraction but if they think anything will be changed by stating the obvious or staging cheap stunts they have to be as mental as the chap who clearly enjoys sticking more than his charger into his boxy car!

Best Bit : Mel Gibson’s beard
‘W’ Rating 11/23

No. 113 : Weapons (2007)

Weapons at the IMDb

If you think society is on a downward spiral don’t watch ‘Weapons’ as it’ll have you jumping off a bridge. This is a nasty film with brutal murders and a general nihilistic vibe.

The film opens promisingly with long shot of a juicy burger which is then picked up by a man who seems to be enjoying it. But wait! As often happens someone appears behind him and blows his head off with a shot gun. This scene was really well done and the special effects are great even in super slow motion, but it is really shocking and sets a tone that prevails throughout the film.

The film is like ‘Pulp Fiction’ in that we get several interwoven stories with events seen at different times and from differing perspectives. Of course it culminates with us arriving back at the burger bar to find out why the man’s dinner was so rudely interrupted 80 minutes earlier.

We meet various stoner losers who drink red juice and worry about who may have been disrespecting them. One chap straight out of juvie heads over to the basketball court to shoot someone but as he isn’t about he has a game only for one of his pals to be shot in an unrelated attack. We learn this shooting was over someone’s sister who may have been raped and we flashback to a party to see what transpired there.

The film is well made and the performances are uniformly good but I just couldn’t care about any of them. The characters are all awful people who smoke dope and listen to rap music that sounds like its escaped from Satan’s arse. There is the obvious metaphor in place that not all weapons are of the shot gun variety and gossip and backstabbing can be just as lethal - as can fire extinguishers which was demonstrated in one eye watering scene.

Of the cast the only name I knew was Paul Dano who was the preacher in ‘There will be Blood’ and the mute in ‘Little Miss Sunshine’. He had the best role as the needy perv with the video camera but he didn’t fully convince as a bad boy in a crowd of low life scum bags.

It’s not a film I disliked but I’d be reluctant to recommend it given that it’s so nasty and depressing.

Best Bit : Are you going to eat those fries?
‘W’ Rating 13/23

No. 113 : Without A Clue (1988)

Without a Clue at the IMDb

This film opens with Sherlock Holmes apprehending a gang of thieves using his customary wit and a bit of derring do - but things are not all they seem. Once the police and press have gone home from fawning over the master detective he gets yelled at by his assistant, Dr Watson.

Dr Watson, it transpires, is the brains of the outfit and Sherlock Holmes is a character he’s created for his mystery stories, who is played by an unemployed actor. Watson is annoyed that his creation hogs the limelight and he gets no joy when he asks his publisher to let him take centre stage as ‘The Doctor Detective’.

With their relationship broken down Holmes (an excellent Michael Caine) hits the bottle and chases the ladies but soon runs out of cash. Watson on the other hand is threatened with breach of contract by his publisher (Peter Cook) and charged by the Queen herself to investigate the theft of some printing blocks which could ruin the Empire through counterfeit cash.

The duo reluctantly team up and are soon visited by the lovely Lysette Anthony who says her printer father has been abducted. This together with some imported ink and a fire at a paper factory suggest large scale forging is underway and the only man capable of such a neferious feat is the evil Dr Moriarty.

During a shoot out at the docks Watson is seemingly killed it’s up to the hapless Holmes to solve the case with only the help of his landlady and lovely Lynette. With the baddies traced to an old theatre Holmes has to rely on his actor’s training rather than his wits to save the day.

I really enjoyed this film despite it’s pretty straightforward plot and slap stick gags. Michael Caine does a great old soak and Ben Kingsley offers a good counterpoint as the undervalued Watson. The production is sumptuous throughout with Victorian London looking marvellous, replete with urchins and gas lamps.

Of the second string I was a bit disappointed in the usually reliable Jeffrey ‘Beuller’ Jones as Inspector LeStrade whose voice seemed badly dubbed. Maybe his 'gor blimey' accent didn’t cut the mustard but it was distracting nonetheless. Lysette Anthony did her usual posh bird bit and she certainly offered few surprises when her character’s motivations were revealed - nice stockings though!

Despite a few throat slashings this is good family fayre with no sex or swearing. Normally that’d put me off but there is a lot to like in this film with great performances from the two leads and a reasonable sprinkling of laughs throughout.

Best Bit : The mystery of the ass grabber is solved
‘W’ Rating 17/23