No. 142 : When Saturday Comes (1996)

When Saturday Comes at the IMDb

Sean Bean stars in this grim up north working class hero drama. We open with a young Jimmy at careers day ‘It’s factory or t’pit’ say the helpful man as the rebellious Jimmy refuses to straighten his tie. He and his slightly simple bother try for a fly pint but are rundown by their shiftless father who tells them they won’t amount to anything. Remember all these put downs for later folks!

Jimmy does defy the career man’s predictions however and we find him grown up and working at t’brewery instead. The place seems like good craik apart from a nasty stereotype they’ve strangely employed as foreman. At home the slightly simple brother has amassed a valuable collection of football programmes while Dad is still a loser looking for cash - guard them programmes for goodness sake!

Jimmy is quite happy playing for the pub team and drinking with his mates until a date with the new wages clerk suggests he may be destined for bigger things. The wages clerk, played by Emily Lloyd is more Irish than a leprechaun’s arse but she inspires our man to look for a trial for the local team despite being 36 already.

We then beat a familiar path of small setbacks and wins including a fortuitous walk by the pit just as it caves in on a loved one and a bet on an inappropriately named nag that comes in at 20-1 just in time to pay the gas bill. It can be no surprise that he eventually makes the grade, given the DVD cover and all, but it’s a reasonably fun ride getting there.

The film is written and directed by a lady so you can forgive a few sporting clichés and some pretty poorly set up footballing scenes. Her romantic vision of the game is quite innocent really and it’s almost like a fantasy football reconstruction of someone who in actual fact got his leg broken in the first five minutes in the rain.

The film gets into its own when Jimmy gets his chance with Pete Postelthwaite’s wise uncle with the nasty fellow pros hoping to upset his chances. The baddies are all pretty harmless and a good job is done of setting them up only for our hero to triumph. As always in these things a few real pros are roped in to give it a sense of realism and for them to embarrass themselves in the acting stakes; so take a bow Tony Currie you were nearly as animated as your football sticker.

Mr Bean clearly is having a good time throughout and who could blame him when the script demands he cavorts with strippers as well as Lloyd and gets to play for his favourites Sheffield United. Good work if you can get it! Of the characters I liked the Dad and the foremen best both of whom would give Dick Dastardly a run in the moustache twirling stakes.

The script is pretty pedestrian but as a working class factory worker wish fulfilment you could do a lot worse.

Best Bit : Sean gives Emily a necklace
‘W’ Rating : 15/23

No. 117 : Wish You Were Here (1987)

Wish You Were Here at the IMDb

In an English sea side town in the 1950’s there’s not a lot to do, well unless you look like Emily Lloyd! The film opens with the iconic scene of Emily riding her bike around town with her skirt tucked into her knickers. Given her carefree and happy demeanour you’d be forgiven for thinking the title is an inspirational one but it’s not, for grim times lie ahead.

The film was originally intended to be Cynthia Payne’s childhood but it soon outgrew that restraint and with Cynthia renamed Linda the director was free to open her up to all manner of experiences.

At 16 Linda is just blossoming into womanhood. A local lad takes her to the flicks but he’s a bit slow and is soon replaced with Marcus Tandy out of the bus garage. Despite his worldly ways he’s a bit of a letdown in the sack and she’s soon off looking for more fresh meat.

Juxtaposed against her free spirited ways are the grim scenes with her family and most notably her Dad. Dad is a social climber and his daughter’s hijinx cause him no end of grief. After getting her jobs at the bus depot and chip van he loses his rag and takes her to see a psychiatrist who feels the loss of her mother may have given her issues. It’s hard to argue especially as she’s in the background while the prognosis is being given flashing her knickers.

Soon Linda is getting it on with her father’s bookie Tom Bell who soon knocks her up condemning Linda to a seemingly bleak future. After being sent away to have the child we have to wonder if she’ll manage to grow up and make the best of her situation.

This is a really enjoyable slice of life with a cracking lead performance from Emily Lloyd. Daughter of Trigger, she does well as a 16 year old flirting like mad and spouting some earthy dialogue. The grim situations and social hypocrisies are well counterpointed with some great comedic scenes that propelled ‘Up yer bum’ into the national vernacular.

The supporting cast are excellent, from her straight laced and easily embarrassed father to Tom Bell as the sleazy bookie. Lloyd does great to tread the thin line between mental and annoying and sexy and unsettling. The film ends on a largely optimistic note and given how much we’ve invested in the charater you’d hope so. It’s a shame that Lloyd didn’t go onto better things but at least she did more fine ‘W’ work in the soon to be reviewed ‘When Saturday Comes’.

Best Bit : Tea room showdown
‘W’ Rating : 18/23