No.250 : We Still Kill the Old Way (2014)

We Still Kill the Old Way at the IMDb

 Here’s some fun in the shape of a British set ‘em up and knock ‘em down revenge thriller. It’s knowingly rubbish and peppered with a lot of ‘I thought they were dead?’ type stars, but it’s good fun and no doubt a bit of wish fulfilment for the Daily Mail set who long for the days when criminals looked after the community - Gawd bless ‘em!

The film opens with two drivers heading to different destinations. A beardy Ian ‘The Saint’ Ogilvy is in Spain while some yoofs are on their way to rob someone’s flat. Ogilvy is a retired East End criminal and living the good life in Spain. Meanwhile Aaron and his ‘E2’ crew are terrorizing Ogilvy’s old manor - noising up pensioners and single mums alike.

Aaron also shows his charms with the ladies by bedding a posh girl before taking photos of her and robbing her house. She’s not easily put off however and when Aaron suggests a second date down a dark alley she eagerly accepts. Huge mistake! - Aaaron’s plan is to ‘introduce’ her to his crew. What he doesn’t bank on however is that Steven Berkoff is dining nearby and takes on the feral rabble to save the girl. He gets killed for his trouble but we learn that he’s Ogilvy’s brother and soon the Saint is back in town and looking for revenge.

He gets together his old crew including James Cosmo off those bank adverts and DI Burnside off ‘The Bill’. What follows is a predictable hunting down of the bad guys by the slightly less bad guys until order is restored and the streets are safe for honest folk once again.

I quite liked this film but the pay off didn’t live up to the build up. Ogilvy was good as the O.C.D. Ritchie although I’m not sure he really caught the menace needed for a lethal old school gangster. He was likable and charismatic though, and it was hard not to take to his character. His henchmen weren’t as good, although they did have less to do. He was backed up by Lysette Anthony, who was almost unrecognisable, playing the woman from the neighbourhood who missed the good old days of knife fights and protection rackets. Her part was bolstered by her technology skills which enabled Ogilvy to track his quarry.

All the while the police investigation rumbled on with Alison Doody (off ‘Taffin’) playing the D.C. who respected the old school methods, especially those employed by Ogilvy, when her daughter turns out to be the one being abused by the baddies. The feral yoof were a bit too shouty to be menacing and did that side on gun grip that is so annoying. I guess they were painted this way to show their ineptitude against our ‘heroes’.

I was hoping for more once the battle lines were drawn but there were too few killings and the muddled shoot out at the hospital was somewhat disappointing. The final scene suggested a sequel could be in the offing and I certainly would be up for another slice of this ‘New Tricks’ for Bad Slags.

Best Bit : “Detective Constable? You should take out the ‘Detective’ and the ‘able’.
‘W’ Rating 15/23

No.201 : Whole Lotta Sole (2011)

Whole Lotta Sole at the IMDb

Fear not spelling fans - we have that title correctly spelt. A fish based pun in the title - this comedy promises plenty!

Set in Belfast, the film follows a variety of characters whose paths are destined to cross. The least appealing but most watchable is Mad Dog a foul mouthed Irish gangster who runs an amusement arcade and illicit casino. He decks his wife for saying he fires blanks and clearly parenthood is a touchy subject.

Meanwhile in his casino, young dad Jimbo is losing his money and getting deep in the hole. Mad Dog threatens to kill him unless he can raise the £5k in two days - his only option may be to rob the titular fish market. To this end he engages his hapless pal and visits his ex-IRA granddad who thinks the troubles are still ongoing. The old man gives them his tommy gun but insists on tagging along.

Elsewhere Bostonian Brendan Fraser is in town minding an antiques shop for his cousin. We know he has a dodgy past but he seems a decent bloke and certainly impresses the local Ethiopian lovely. Added to the mix is cantankerous police chief Colm Meaney and his community policeman son and a gang of gypsies who may or may not be up to no good.

The robbery goes down badly with little money to be found, but a battered case may be the real prize. As the players converge on Brendan’s shop a hostage situation ensues - will the right people go down and will all the relationships be mended? Hope so!

This was a decent slice of fun that lacked any real ambition. They must have netted Brendan Fraser on his holidays because the rest of the production looks like it shared the budget with an episode of ‘Father Ted’. It did start brightly with some colourful characters and situations introduced. Mad Dog played by David O’Hara had some real menace although his baby snatching plan lacked credibility. I liked Jimbo less, mainly because he was played as a loveable scallywag but came across as a feckless arse. His pal and Grandfather offered more laughs and for the most part Jimbo just shouted ‘be quiet’ a lot as his feeble brain checked through his options.

Colm Meaney did his usual stand up job although the subplot involving his relationship with his son could have been jettisoned with no loss whatsoever. It was good that he got experience of sieges as he’s on the opposite side of one in the new Alan Partridge film. Fraser was OK but I didn’t engage with him on any level. He was meant to be sympathetic and bit mysterious but he came across as largely disinterested.

For me the film lost its way when the siege started and given that took up the last hour of the 90 minute film it was always going to struggle to get a positive review. That said it did have a certain charm and at least two laughs which is better than most. I think if this was caught as a TV movie you’d feel you’d done well but as a cinema or DVD outing you can’t help but feel a bit short-changed.


Best Bit : Cod Knows   ‘W’ Score 12/23

No.68 : White Heat (1949)

White Heat at the IMDb

James Cagney stars in this 1949 gangster classic as psychotic con Cody Jarrett. The film opens with the Jarrett gang robbing a train and netting a cool $300,000. The blood thirsty raid leaves four dead and the treasury department has had enough. When a nicer member of the gang disobeys Cody’s order to kill an injured comrade the police find the man and a clue. With the net tightening and the gas chamber looming Cody decides to claim responsibility for a lesser robbery, knowing he’ll get two years maximum and beat the train robbery rap.

He thinks he’s smart when the plan works but unknown to him the treasury department agreed the deal with the judge so that they could plant a man in Cody’s cell to trace the stolen cash and other gang members. Things go well at first with the agent, Vic Pardo, winning the con’s trust by saving his neck when a hit from an ambitious member of the gang goes down.

Pardo convinces Cody to agree to his escape plan but things go wrong when Cody hears that his beloved mother has been killed and goes mental. When in the prison hospital Cody forges his own plan and breaks out a group of cons, including Pardo who no longer holds all the cards. Now on the outside Cody decides to settle some scores and arranges a big robbery at a petrol refinery. Can Pardo get a message out to his colleagues or will his cover be blown by a new gang member that the erstwhile cop put away 4 years before?

This is a cracker of a film that is held together by Cagney’s outstanding performance. He genuinely seems evil and unhinged and the scenes he shares with his overbearing mother are classic. Despite his small stature he is a real presence and you can tell the other actors aren’t feigning their fear when he kicks off.

The investigation side of things is well handled by the inside man and there are real scenes of tension as he infiltrates his way into Cagney’s affections. Less good are the treasury men who spend too long explaining their fancy triangulation device that helps track the felons down.

For its era the film is very violent, with gangsters and cops alike being killed by the cartload. There is also some fruity dialogue and wife slapping going on, as well as a few cold bloodied murders. Despite him being a classic screen bad guy Cagney does well to gain a bit of sympathy for his headaches and slutty wife. We’re not very sad when he gets his comeuppance (as he really had to) but we do mourn the passing of a great character.

If you’ve never seen ‘White Heat’ give it a look, it’s easily one of the best gangster/prison break movies ever. Top of the list Ma!

Best Bit : The train raid sets the brutal agenda



‘W’ Score 20/23