No.297 : Wingman Inc. (2015)

Wingman Inc. at the IMDb

The battle of the sexes is explored, or at least brushed over in this lacklustre, alleged comedy.

For some reason the titles have photos of the cast as children which then morph into their current, non-recognisable personas. Our hero Bobby is a dog psychiatrist which involves him talking to a dog on his sofa. He gets a call from his landlord seeking his rent and he announces to no one that he has loads of debts. He does have prospects however, in the shape of a night out with his friends and his plan to propose to his long term girlfriend.

The night out with the friends finishes early as he finds them both hook-ups, foreshadowing the rest of the film. Bobby is so nice and non-threatening he can convince women to cop off with his sleazy friends. His world falls apart however when his girlfriend rejects his proposal and leaves the restaurant with another man.

Sunk into depression we meet up with Bobby 3 months later on the sofa with his stoner flat mate. He has a comedy beard and his pals think he needs to get back out there - especially as they haven’t gotten laid in like three months. Meanwhile in reaction to sleazy men chatting up women in bars a lady has started a service designed to send men away, mainly by suggesting they have small dicks.

Bobby’s friends are happy to pay his rent if he finds them women and they convince him that setting up a Wingman business would be a better use of is time than being a doggie shrink. With two opposing businesses in view, Bobby and the lady inevitably meet when she brings her anxious dog for therapy. What will happen when they find out that they are at opposite ends of the dating spectrum and will the spark that is developing between them become something special?

This was a terrible cheap and nasty film that was well dated in its attitudes and set dressing. Clearly here was no budget at all with the ‘bar’ being a curtain, a poster and a couple of chairs. It looked like a student film in places and wasn’t helped by cack handed direction and editing.

There were no laughs at all with some of it downright offensive - women called lesbians for not falling at our mens’ feet for example. The men were all ass holes but the women were all nasty bitches too, so there was no one to root for.

The whole ‘Wingman’ premise was dubious with our hero basically being a whoremaster and pimp. The lead was as wet as an otter’s pocket and like a poor man’s Jim Halpert. I didn’t manage to spot one good performance, apart from the dog that managed to yawn on cue.

Overall this ‘comedy’ didn’t raise a smile and, as social commentary, you’d get a more balanced view from re runs of ‘The Benny Hill Show’. The ‘will they - won’t they?’ romance was plain tiresome and the ‘growth’ around emotional maturity and respecting others was just irritating.

At least the film closed with 'funny' outtakes running over the credits - Good of them to let us know that there was at least some footage not worthy of the final cut,

Best Bit - Taking the Library Books Back Late ‘W’ Rating 7/23

No.293 : Where the Red Fern Grows (2003)

Where the Red Fern Grows at the IMDb

This is our fourth ‘where’ film in a row - where will it end? Right here actually, but that’s what you get for Googling one ‘W’ word for film inspiration.

This is a Disney remake of an 1974 adaptation of the classic children’s book which I’d never heard of, before now. It had the mildest peril on record but was enjoyable family fun with just a hint of Christian values creeping in.

The film opens with aged city dweller Kris Kristofferson breaking up a back street dog fight. In truth it is a bit of woofing, but one ends up with ketchup on its leg and is saved from a good licking by the kindly Kris. We get a bit of narration as Kris tells us it has been ages since he had a dog. I hadn’t asked, but thanks for the update Kris.

We dissolve back to the Ozarks in 1933 when Kris was a young lad called Billy Coleman. Billy is of hillbilly stock and doesn’t wear shoes. He’s mad keen to get a pair of dogs so he can hunt raccoons, which are sought after for their coats which go for a high price back east.

Two local bad kids buy a choice pup that Billy had his eye on for $35. We know they are bad as they have money, slicked down hair and slag Billy for not having a dog. Billy moans to his shopkeeper grandfather who tells him that God will give him dogs but he needs to be met halfway. They never covered the dog distribution rules in my Sunday school class! Billy saves up the required $50 in double quick time, thanks to a ‘chores’ montage.

He walks the 12 miles to pick up the dogs and endures mild peril in the shape of some schoolyard bullies who slag off his bare feet. He soon makes it home and another montage sees the dogs get trained and grow to full size. More mild peril is overcome and soon Billy is at the district coon hunting championships. Can he win the day and the prize money that would allow the family to move to civilisation in Tulsa? What has the legend of the red fern, which grows between two graves, have to do with Billy and his two dogs? Eeeek!

I quite liked this mild and danger free offering. It was so damn nice you couldn’t help but enjoy it. I wasn’t so keen on the raccoon hunts with dozens of the critters chased up trees and skinned off camera. They do have the ‘no animals were harmed’ sign at the end but they can’t have enjoyed being chased all over the shop. I was glad at the end when the dogs were confronted by a mountain lion - not the tough guys now are we?!

There were a couple of familiar faces in Ned Beattie’s nice sheriff and Dabney Coleman’s even nicer shopkeeper. The only baddies were quickly seen off in what was quite a brutal manner. Don’t slag off my lack of dogs or you’ll die in a hatchet accident!

The Christian elements did permeate throughout, with songs about the lord and pleas to God that were answered. That’s all fine, but I do prefer my family schmaltz secular thanks very much Mr Disney.

If you like dogs, and don’t mind them dying at the end, then this could be the film you’ve been waiting for.

Best Bit : Nasty Kid Gets Axed  ‘W’ Rating 14/23