No.207 : Wilder Napalm (1993)

Wilder Napalm at the IMDb

 Possibly best known as an early screen writing credit for ‘Breaking Bad’ supremo Vince Gilligan, ‘Wilder Napalm’ is a romantic comedy involving brothers with pyrotechnic powers.

Debra Winger is the love interest and as the film opens she is nearing the end of a year long stint of house arrest. Her husband, Wilder,  arrives at their trailer and after some fun he heads off to his boring job at a photo booth. He also doubles as a part time fire-fighter and bingo caller but his mundane life is torn up when the circus comes to town.

The star attraction of the circus is Wilder’s brother Wallace who although a clown, is planning a new act, ‘Doctor Napalm’ which involves him using his fire raising skills. This plan upsets Wilder who has agreement with his brother to keep their skills secret after they accidentally killed a man when burning down his shack.

The two brothers haven’t spoken in five years after Wilder married Winger, a woman they both had feelings for. The action is slow and gentle but the film eventually meanders towards a fiery showdown when the two brothers face off after Wallace tries to get friendly with Winger. There are plenty of pyrotechnics but few surprises along the way.

I quite liked this film but it was fluffy and undemanding stuff and a world away from the in-depth characters and dense plotting of ‘Breaking Bad’. Debra Winger was lovely as the free spirited Vida but just a touch too ditzy for my liking. She did wear a sequence of flimsy green dresses but you lose sympathy for her when she gets frisky with Wallace. It is understandable though as her husband Wilder is such a drip and played with no personality by Arliss Howard. They did try to make him a bit quirky but he just came across as dull.

Dennis Quaid was better as the reckless Wallace and he played it with his usual shit eating grin. His relationship with his brother wasn’t really explored and I didn’t see how Winger could have fallen for them both as they are polar opposites on the personality scale.

There weren’t many laughs but lots of quirky touches such as the barber shop singing fire crew who did a great version of ‘Duke of Earl’ and there was a dog with a hat on.

The fire raising powers weren’t explained but were used to good effect with things lightening up and boiling when their passions were raised. It did get a bit silly when they started throwing fire balls like The Human Torch but I suppose if you are handing out powers you might as well give them full licence to use them.

Down the cast you also got Earnest from those ‘Earnest Goes…’ films and an underused M. Emmet Walsh as the fire Chief. It was a good ensemble and there was a lot to like but at nearly two hours the premise didn’t have the legs and the whole thing fizzled out long before the protracted final showdown.

Best Bit ; ‘Dook, Dook, Dook of Earl….’
W Rating 12/23

No.202 : What to Expect When You’re Expecting (2012)

What to Expect When You're Expecting at the IMDb

The title and premise should give you some clues but for the slow witted, like me, this is a total chick flick that will drain your will to live as it meanders through two hour’s of  feelings and sentimentality.

We meet a variety of couple in various situations who are either pregnant or trying for a baby. If you have turned off already you’re a smarter man than me! We open with a celebrity dance contest with reality show host Cameron Diaz winning the day with her partner, Mr Schu off ‘Glee’. The audience suspect they are sleeping together, speculation that is confirmed when Diaz pukes in the winner’s trophy - she’s up the duff!

Elsewhere photographer Jennifer Lopez is trying in vain to have a baby and instead plans to adopt from Ethiopia. In a familiar scene they try to clean up their act to impress the woman from the adoption agency, but don’t worry; she’s lovely.

We also get Elizabeth Banks as a baby guru having her first child with the dad being the son of Dennis Quaid who is a competitive race car driver who is also expecting twins with his young trophy wife. Down the cast list the young girl off ‘Up in the Air’ is pregnant after a one night stand and Chris Rock is running a dads’ baby walking group in the park.

So far, so dreadful, but don’t worry; we have minor traumas and growth coming our way too!

Of course I’m not the target audience for this kind of stuff but it was mawkish rubbish with nothing to say apart from a lot of twaddle about babies and bonding. There was a miscarriage that was glossed over quickly and a near death on the table giving birth, but for the most part it was high fiving, life affirming stuff that seemed an exercise in exploiting the mumsy set.

Of the couples I’d probably go with Quaid’s as best mainly because he was boorish and not tuned into the paternal vibe. OK he did have some growth with his son who faded in the shadow of his famous father, but Quaid came across as likeable whereas the son was just a wimp.

Most shameful was the once edgy comic Chris Rock who must have cringed with every schmaltzy line he excreted out. His plot strand was very thin with the union of new dads idea poorly formed and terribly executed.

Diaz and Banks were OK with Banks probably taking the laurels, as they were, after her rant about how crappy pregnancy was becoming that old movie staple; the internet sensation.

There was some overlap with Lopez’s photographer photographing Quaid’s wife and Quaid’s son being on Diaz’s weight loss show but these were perfunctory at best and added nothing to the mix which was as weak as school dance orange drink.

Overall this was probably a success in what it intended itself to be. There was never going to be a shoot out or a car chase but they might have offered something for the dedicated ‘W’ movie reviewer. OK Cameron Diaz in a red sequined bikini but that was it.

Best Bit : Diaz shakes it   7/23